Artist Statement
My art practice centres on my lived experience of surveillance as an autistic person. Rather than positioning surveillance solely as an external technological system, I approach it as a lived reality. I situate myself within the panopticon, not as someone visibly monitored, but as someone who feels perpetually watched. Whether or not observation is taking place becomes irrelevant, the anticipation of being seen is enough to shape behaviour, I alter gestures, expressions and movements in response to an imagined audience. In this sense, surveillance becomes psychological, embedded in everyday life.
My work examines this self-conscious performance. As an autistic woman, social space often feels structured by invisible rules that must be carefully read and followed. The pressure to appear ‘appropriate’, calm or socially fluent produces a heightened awareness of visibility, I become both subject and observer, watched but also watching myself. This doubled position reflects the logic of the panopticon, the possibility of surveillance is internalised and regulation becomes self-imposed. Photography functions as both documentation and enactment of this condition, i photograph my everyday life and the people around me, capturing moments as they unfold. The images are not staged or edited after they are taken. Each photograph exists as a single raw file, fixed at that moment of exposure. There is no postproduction editing. Decisions must be made instantly, without correction.
Working with 35mm film intensifies this commitment to presence. Unlike digital photography, film does not allow for instant review. The image remains latent, physically locked inside the camera until its developed. In photographing my daily environment, I acknowledge that I am not outside surveillance culture, I participate in it. I watch others as I feel watched myself. The camera becomes an extension within this constant awareness of visibility. After the photographs are developed, I compile them into self-designed photobooks. These books are produced using inexpensive photo printing paper. The decision to keep the materials cheap and accessible is deliberate. The book feels intimate and personal, thye can be handled, passed around and easily reproduced.
My practice embraces the contradiction of surveillance, I am both observed and observing. I regulator myself while documenting others. The work does not attempt to resolve this tension. Instead, it makes visible thw quiet negotiations that occur within it, the constant adjustments, performances and self-awareness that shape my experience of public and private space.